How to feel loved

One of the ways that I help my family out is by listening to them and helping them sort out and release unnecessary emotional baggage. I love doing these mini “sessions” because I can watch as my siblings’ bodies literally reflect the amazing light of their divine nature and the pure love available to them. It’s really inspiring to be there when people get in touch with their truth. It helps me to do the same and I always learn something new.

This afternoon, I was talking with one of my sisters who has struggled to feel loved in our family. It’s not that anything was wrong with her or with my family; it was just that the way that love was/is generally expressed didn’t/doesn’t translate to feeling loved for her. I think all of us can relate to this scenario on some level.

As we were talking, we discovered five strategies that we can use to receive a greater amount of love in our lives.

1. Learn to love yourself. No matter what.
Whenever you are caught in an uncomfortable situation of any kind, immediately reaffirm to yourself how much you appreciate yourself for being alive and learning what you came here to learn. Life learning is messy. Love yourself anyway.

2. Learn to receive the gifts of others in the spirit of love.
Assume that people around you love you.
Whatever people do to you, around you, or say to your face, consider how it might be an expression of their love for you. This may open your eyes to other ways of expressing love that are not natural for you. For example, some people show their love by making you laugh; others by making you comfortable; others by helping you do something or improve how you do something; and others by helping you make something better. Rejoice in the gifts that others are giving. Feel gratitude for them and show your gratitude by joyfully receiving their gifts. As a modern-day apostle has reminded us, we should “assume the good and doubt the bad” when it comes to our relationships with others.

3. Love others in a way that makes sense to them.
What goes around, comes around. We all know that. But sometimes we have to be the ones to express love in a way that is not natural to us. Reach others with a love language that they understand, even if it’s not as self-gratifying. Many people have read The Five Love Languages. Practice different ways of communicating Words of Affirmation, spending Quality Time, Giving Gifts, performing Acts of Service, and extending loving Physical Touch until you find ways that really send the message, “I love you.”

4. Help others to understand what speaks love to you.
When others give you love in a way that really makes sense to you, tell them. Let them know with words that you appreciate their trying their best to communicate love to you. Also, make opportunities to share with your friends and family what love looks like to you.

5. Attract more people who speak your language.
Not everyone can meet your needs. Attract people into your life who can effortlessly give you what you need to thrive. That is a win-win situation that can shore you up, even when life is at its craziest. Remember that those who are close to you cannot fulfill 100% of your physical, emotional, or spiritual needs. Reach out to create a strong network of support (big or small) that will be meaningful to you. Choose to be around people who see the best in you, who encourage you, and accept you just the way you are.